Even when I see myself in the mirror its almost like seeing someone new! It has taken me a good 2 decades to finally understand, recognize and appreciate who I am. It took me through a hellish road in the process...but you really can't appreciate the greatness of one without living the worst of one self. It makes perfect sense to see the kind of environment I was placing myself in for all those years....even the kind of relationships I kept and for how long. No regrets whatsoever....just good solid realization and appreciation. Which is how key my family is to me now more than ever. You pick your friends, and in some cases who you fall in love with (not always though).so to say the least I am more than blessed in so many ways! Health is great! I wish I could share that with everyone....emotional health is amazing. It all starts there. Impossible to be happy with life without being happy
with yourself. Bunch of cliches but its all true. I couldn't be in true love with my boyfriend without being in love with myself. And that took all 26 of my years to get to this point. I can be happy with or without him. But I thank God every day that I'm granted life with the love of my life who is my boyfriend. We are so opposite in so many little things...but keep all the great values and ideals in complete sync. He's Country and I'm Hip Hop with a dash of indie. But having love and humour makes it work. And makes it fun. I have never been able to feel so happy and comfortable with myself around someone like it is with him. I can act like a 5 year old sometimes with my sillyness and as irritated he can act like he is he still loves it.... Okay enough moment of wonder and back to work... It just feels good to realize how much you grow...I love it.
Thursday, May 13, 2010
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
Wish I would have read this early
SCORPIO- 4/13/10 If you woke up on the wrong side of the bed today, you do have a choice about how you will manage the rest of the day. Waking up in a grumpy mood doesn't mean you have to have a bad day. If you are irritable, set aside a few moments in the morning if possible, and just sit and breathe deeply and concentrate on changing your attitude. You can have a wonderful day if you give it a chance. Later in the day joyful happenings are in store, if you've accomplished a positive change to your frame of mind.
----------------------------------------------
Yeah I had a SUPER ANGRY day from the start. If it's one emotion I hate to have , it's gotta be anger. I've previously allowed anger to drive me to self destructiveness. It's my favorite emotion for "fuck the world" activities. And I always know I'm in charge of my emotions for one. So it's frustrating when I still let it get to me and become irritated with the little things or in the recent case, the things at my work. I still think I should try and talk to a therapist so I can get some things out. Things I wouldn't even want to share with anyone not even my other half. That's one Scorpio trait I can't change. But I do like getting an outside feedback on stuff from time to time. Oh and maybe a combination of Yoga and kick boxing classes should do the trick. That, however, would reduce the time I spend with my love and at home by a lot! I think it's worth sacrificing sometimes though.
Especially in a case like this. Time to sign up.
----------------------------------------------
Yeah I had a SUPER ANGRY day from the start. If it's one emotion I hate to have , it's gotta be anger. I've previously allowed anger to drive me to self destructiveness. It's my favorite emotion for "fuck the world" activities. And I always know I'm in charge of my emotions for one. So it's frustrating when I still let it get to me and become irritated with the little things or in the recent case, the things at my work. I still think I should try and talk to a therapist so I can get some things out. Things I wouldn't even want to share with anyone not even my other half. That's one Scorpio trait I can't change. But I do like getting an outside feedback on stuff from time to time. Oh and maybe a combination of Yoga and kick boxing classes should do the trick. That, however, would reduce the time I spend with my love and at home by a lot! I think it's worth sacrificing sometimes though.
Especially in a case like this. Time to sign up.
Saturday, April 10, 2010
What to do
I have a confession to make. I'm simply not happy with the job that I have. I do however, have far too many financial dependences that keep me tied to this. Including a car loan that is far too much for anyone living outside of free housing. I seriously just want to cry out of frustration sometimes. I chose to be here. I want to be with the man that I love. But I am sacrificing my happiness with what I do every day as a job. This is such a catch 22. There's not much of a way out. Although if I continue to feel like I'm stuck, I won't be making it better. And to find a decent job that will pay anything close to what I make now is beyond hard to find. Because I've been looking. It's like "what have I done?" But only because on days like this I let it over shadow what is truly my happiness: Life with Him. Yeah.
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
Stay
Never give up on a dream, Scorpio. Even if you've persevered with reaching a certain goal for a very long time, even if you haven't seen the smallest glimmer of hope, even if any steps forward were matched by backward steps, this is no time to give up. Sometimes the universe tests your commitment and your fortitude. You will eventually achieve your goal, and when you do, you will be so much wiser and stronger, and far more sure of yourself than you would be if you hadn't leapt so many hurdles along the way.
Monday, March 1, 2010
infinite skills create miracles!!!!
Guru!!! He's gotta make it!! How can my favorte hip hop duo go on without it's legendary MC? My prayers with him and his fam!! "Above the Clouds" all day
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
This is Me now
2010 - yes, I have changed. Lol
Name:
Jessenia Pineda
Birthdate:
November 8, 1983
Current Location:
McAllen, TX (deep south Texas!!! My new home!!)
Eye Color:
Cafe
Hair Color:
Brown, natural hair color Brown (have not dyed my hair in over 2 years)
Height:
5'7
Weight:
Right at my weight for my height. But a lot curvier in my hips, butt and thighs. And we like it like this. :)
Piercings:
my ears...and my navel.
Tatoos:
5: 1)my customized Makaveli M/scorpio symbol on my lower back...2) my NorCal Star on the back of my neck (which was later colored in Red by my friend Jason-Mousey) 3) My fave love song quote in my handwriting on my left calf (french chorus from Love Language by Reflection Eternal) 4) my 808&Heartbreak Deflated heart balloon on my left hip (the heart on the cover of the kanye album) 5) LeReve in my handwriting on my upper back (french for the Dream)
Boyfriend/Girlfriend:
The Best One I've Ever Had: Jose Martin Serrata JR. My former Marine/now Firefighter/ True Love
Overused Phrase:
"Saaaaavage!!"
FAVORITES
Food:
Sushi
Number:
8............it's infinit.(Still)
Body Part on Opposite sex:
Still His Eyes.....oh and I love his thighs!!!! Lol
This or That
Pepsi or Coke:
Vanilla Coke (hardly ever drink it now)
McDonalds or BurgerKing:
Whataburger!!!!
Hot tea or Ice tea:
Southern Sweet Tea!.
Hot Chocolate or Coffee:
Peppermint Mocha Frappucinos are my weakness
Kiss or Hug:
kiss. I love kisses. They are the sweetest thing to me.
Rap or Punk:
Hip Hop ...........FOREVER
Scary Movies or Funny Movies:
Funny. I can not stop watching the hangover still.
Love or Money:
Love. My True Love.
YOUR...
Bedtime:
Right after Aqua Teen Hunger Force (so like 1145 ish) boy have times changed.
Most Missed Memory:
Live hip hop shows in Cali!!! And that's about it. I'm currently loving the memories I'm making....
Best phyiscal feature:
My eyes...especially Now!
First Thought Waking Up:
Hi babe.
Fears:
At this moment, my taxes! Lol....
Heritage:
Amor a la MEXICANA
Longest relationship:
The one I'm IN. 1 year, 1 month.
HAVE YOU...
Ever Drank:
Why yes, and at this moment my favorites are; Frozen Margarita and Lone Star Beer! Lol
Ever Smoked:
I have
Pot:
I have.......
Ever been Drunk:
Ew, yessum I have.
Ever been beaten up:
nope.
Ever beaten someone up:
yes I have.
Ever Shoplifted:
when I was 5.
Ever Skinny Dipped:
Kinda.....lol
Ever Kissed someone of same sex:
Yes.
Been Dumped Lately:
No Sir.
IN A GUY/GIRL
Favorite Eye Color:
Passionate Dark Eyes, like HIS
Favorite Hair Color:
Dark
Short or Long:
Short
Height:
His is just fine
Style:
let's put it this way, I can always tell if I really like a guy's style by the jeans they are wearing. The brand does not matter, it's the look-wear-fit of the jeans....If I'ver ever complimented u on your jeans (and I have told a few "I like your jeans"....) they get what I'm talking about....Stylish guys wear good jeans. If this is weird 2 u.....then u know what time it is.
Looks or Personality:
Personality all the way. It's the confidence of who u are, not what u look like.
Hot or Cute
a little bit of A. and little bit of B.
Drugs and Alcohol:
Next. Alcohol in moderation kids.
RANDOMS
Number of Regrets in the Past:
for a person who doesn't regret anything.....cos I learn from everything...there is 1.
What country do you want to Visit:
There's 3: Jamaica, Italy and Spain
How do you want to Die:
Just like I live, happy with myself and my life.
Been to the Mall Lately:
Across the street, but it's always full of Mexican nationals that cross the border just to shop. So it's a mess always.
Do you like Thunderstorms:
Sure......when I'm indoors
Get along with your Parents:
Definitely!! Couldn't have asked for better parents. I love and miss them soo much. Especially since I moved out! Lol
Health Freak:
Balanced. not freakish.
Do you think your Attractive:
Indeed! I get it from my momma.
Believe in Yourself:
All day, every day.
Want to go to College:
Not so much anymore. I would go just for sheer self improvement.....unless someone wants to take my math classes for me so I can you know, major in something and get a degree and what not. Lol
Do you Smoke:
No Sir.
Do you Drink:
Every now and Then.
Shower Daily:
Yes Sir.
Been in Love:
I am.
Name:
Jessenia Pineda
Birthdate:
November 8, 1983
Current Location:
McAllen, TX (deep south Texas!!! My new home!!)
Eye Color:
Cafe
Hair Color:
Brown, natural hair color Brown (have not dyed my hair in over 2 years)
Height:
5'7
Weight:
Right at my weight for my height. But a lot curvier in my hips, butt and thighs. And we like it like this. :)
Piercings:
my ears...and my navel.
Tatoos:
5: 1)my customized Makaveli M/scorpio symbol on my lower back...2) my NorCal Star on the back of my neck (which was later colored in Red by my friend Jason-Mousey) 3) My fave love song quote in my handwriting on my left calf (french chorus from Love Language by Reflection Eternal) 4) my 808&Heartbreak Deflated heart balloon on my left hip (the heart on the cover of the kanye album) 5) LeReve in my handwriting on my upper back (french for the Dream)
Boyfriend/Girlfriend:
The Best One I've Ever Had: Jose Martin Serrata JR. My former Marine/now Firefighter/ True Love
Overused Phrase:
"Saaaaavage!!"
FAVORITES
Food:
Sushi
Number:
8............it's infinit.(Still)
Body Part on Opposite sex:
Still His Eyes.....oh and I love his thighs!!!! Lol
This or That
Pepsi or Coke:
Vanilla Coke (hardly ever drink it now)
McDonalds or BurgerKing:
Whataburger!!!!
Hot tea or Ice tea:
Southern Sweet Tea!.
Hot Chocolate or Coffee:
Peppermint Mocha Frappucinos are my weakness
Kiss or Hug:
kiss. I love kisses. They are the sweetest thing to me.
Rap or Punk:
Hip Hop ...........FOREVER
Scary Movies or Funny Movies:
Funny. I can not stop watching the hangover still.
Love or Money:
Love. My True Love.
YOUR...
Bedtime:
Right after Aqua Teen Hunger Force (so like 1145 ish) boy have times changed.
Most Missed Memory:
Live hip hop shows in Cali!!! And that's about it. I'm currently loving the memories I'm making....
Best phyiscal feature:
My eyes...especially Now!
First Thought Waking Up:
Hi babe.
Fears:
At this moment, my taxes! Lol....
Heritage:
Amor a la MEXICANA
Longest relationship:
The one I'm IN. 1 year, 1 month.
HAVE YOU...
Ever Drank:
Why yes, and at this moment my favorites are; Frozen Margarita and Lone Star Beer! Lol
Ever Smoked:
I have
Pot:
I have.......
Ever been Drunk:
Ew, yessum I have.
Ever been beaten up:
nope.
Ever beaten someone up:
yes I have.
Ever Shoplifted:
when I was 5.
Ever Skinny Dipped:
Kinda.....lol
Ever Kissed someone of same sex:
Yes.
Been Dumped Lately:
No Sir.
IN A GUY/GIRL
Favorite Eye Color:
Passionate Dark Eyes, like HIS
Favorite Hair Color:
Dark
Short or Long:
Short
Height:
His is just fine
Style:
let's put it this way, I can always tell if I really like a guy's style by the jeans they are wearing. The brand does not matter, it's the look-wear-fit of the jeans....If I'ver ever complimented u on your jeans (and I have told a few "I like your jeans"....) they get what I'm talking about....Stylish guys wear good jeans. If this is weird 2 u.....then u know what time it is.
Looks or Personality:
Personality all the way. It's the confidence of who u are, not what u look like.
Hot or Cute
a little bit of A. and little bit of B.
Drugs and Alcohol:
Next. Alcohol in moderation kids.
RANDOMS
Number of Regrets in the Past:
for a person who doesn't regret anything.....cos I learn from everything...there is 1.
What country do you want to Visit:
There's 3: Jamaica, Italy and Spain
How do you want to Die:
Just like I live, happy with myself and my life.
Been to the Mall Lately:
Across the street, but it's always full of Mexican nationals that cross the border just to shop. So it's a mess always.
Do you like Thunderstorms:
Sure......when I'm indoors
Get along with your Parents:
Definitely!! Couldn't have asked for better parents. I love and miss them soo much. Especially since I moved out! Lol
Health Freak:
Balanced. not freakish.
Do you think your Attractive:
Indeed! I get it from my momma.
Believe in Yourself:
All day, every day.
Want to go to College:
Not so much anymore. I would go just for sheer self improvement.....unless someone wants to take my math classes for me so I can you know, major in something and get a degree and what not. Lol
Do you Smoke:
No Sir.
Do you Drink:
Every now and Then.
Shower Daily:
Yes Sir.
Been in Love:
I am.
This was me then....
This was early 2007..... 3 years ago
Name:
Jessenia Pineda
Birthdate:
November 8, 1983
Current Location:
the other thugz mansion...in yuma..yikes.
Eye Color:
Cafe
Hair Color:
Auburn brown
Height:
5'7
Weight:
a hundred and something.hahaha
Piercings:
my ears...and my navel.
Tatoos:
2: my customized Makaveli M/scorpio symbol on my lower back....and my NorCal Star on the back of my neck
Boyfriend/Girlfriend:
None.
Overused Phraze:
You're whack fool. haahaa. or.....Bomby. (classic)Chales.
FAVORITES
Food:
The Tamales that my Mom makes, which I have now made on my own for the whole fam. And they are bomb!
Number:
8............it's infinit.
Body Part on Opposite sex:
Los Ojos. (translation: The Eyes.....I've always lived 2 love sexy, beautiful eyes.)
This or That
Pepsi or Coke:
Vanilla Coke
McDonalds or BurgerKing:
Ronald makes them classic, but damn they've gotten xxpensive. U gotta be rich to buy a combo meal now?
Hot tea or Ice tea:
Hot chamomille tea....with hunny.
Hot Chocolate or Coffee:
I'm a sugar freek, but...I love cinnamon flavor coffee..wait, I'll take a toffee nut frap instead.
Kiss or Hug:
kiss. I love kisses. They are the sweetest thing to me.
Rap or Punk:
Hip Hop ............recogniiize
Scary Movies or Funny Movies:
Funny movies can be watched over, and over, and over again....now who here would rather watch half baked any day of the week over .....um, a scary movie? See, told ya. *Red team, GO!*
Love or Money:
Did u not know that I'm like, part of those veryfew that believe in true love. It's like, last of the mohicans...nah, but for real, LOVE.
YOUR...
Bedtime:
soon. prolly now. I can sleep 12-14 hours daily...yummy.
Most Missed Memory:
dayum, it's a triple threat: Visiting my sister every 4 months while she was @ UCLA a decade ago, Hanging out with Korina, Ces and Nugg ( battling on paper with Ces and Nugg!)..and going to any concert while living back in Cali in the last 6 years ( starting with the backstage access to the Watcha '00 tour...all the way to the last Legends show that I saw back in Nov.)
Best phyiscal feature:
My eyes.
First Thought Waking Up:
Yummy, I love waking up here.
Fears:
3 pending speeding tickets all from this year....(um, I went 2 court 4 the first one back in March....and I swear I'll pay them all..soon.)
Heritage:
Amor a la MEXICANA
Longest relationship:
4 months........it took that long for me to snap out of it. yikes. *word 2 the beatnuts: "Cos if it aint gangzta..."..jk...it jus wasn't true love 4 me.
HAVE YOU...
Ever Drank:
Of course. Keep it classic: Corona or XX ambar...and then there's the other sweet dranks.
Ever Smoked:
I have
Pot:
I have.......
Ever been Drunk:
Ew, yessum I have.
Ever been beaten up:
nope.
Ever beaten someone up:
yessum.
Ever Shoplifted:
when I was 5.
Ever Skinny Dipped:
Not yet.
Ever Kissed someone of same sex:
Nosuum.
Been Dumped Lately:
Nosuum.
IN A GUY/GIRL
Favorite Eye Color:
doesn't matter,....it's the actual eyes I'm luvin.
Favorite Hair Color:
that doesn't matter either.......wait, um, keep it dark.
Short or Long:
super short, faded or my favourite of all time....shaved.
Height:
taller than me.
&..39;Style:'
let's put it this way, I can always tell if I really like a guy's style by the jeans they are wearing. The brand does not matter, it's the look-wear-fit of the jeans....If I'ver ever complimented u on your jeans (and I have told a few "I like your jeans"....) they get what I'm talking about....Stylish guys wear good jeans. If this is weird 2 u.....then u know what time it is.
Looks or Personality:
Personality all the way. It's the confidence of who u are, not what u look like.
Hot or Cute
a little bit of A. and little bit of B.
Drugs and Alcohol:
Next. Alcohol in moderation kids. haahaa.
RANDOMS
Number of Regrets in the Past:
for a person who doesn't regret anything.....cos I learn from everything...there is 1.
What country do you want to Visit:
There's 3: Jamaica, Monaco and Spain (my sister lives in Madrid...so I gotta make that happen b4 the year is over)
How do you want to Die:
Just like I live, happy with myself and my life.
Been to the Mall Lately:
Oh yeah, 60 miles away.....nah, the last good shopping I did was the H & M in San Francisco.
Do you like Thunderstorms:
Sure......when I'm indoors
Get along with your Parents:
My mom is the best, I can hang out with her all day every day (wait, I kinda have since I came back home )...my dad, yeah, we're kinda alike in the ways that don't let us get along...that well that often.
Health Freak:
Balanced. not freakish.
Do you think your Attractive:
Fo Sho. I get it from my momma.
Believe in Yourself:
All day, every day.
Want to go to College:
It's wut I do
Do you Smoke:
Nossum.
Do you Drink:
Every now and Then.
Shower Daily:
yessum. twice with this heat...and with all the swimming....:)
Been in Love:
It happened 1 day.....May 20th, 2004.
</form>
Name:
Jessenia Pineda
Birthdate:
November 8, 1983
Current Location:
the other thugz mansion...in yuma..yikes.
Eye Color:
Cafe
Hair Color:
Auburn brown
Height:
5'7
Weight:
a hundred and something.hahaha
Piercings:
my ears...and my navel.
Tatoos:
2: my customized Makaveli M/scorpio symbol on my lower back....and my NorCal Star on the back of my neck
Boyfriend/Girlfriend:
None.
Overused Phraze:
You're whack fool. haahaa. or.....Bomby. (classic)Chales.
FAVORITES
Food:
The Tamales that my Mom makes, which I have now made on my own for the whole fam. And they are bomb!
Number:
8............it's infinit.
Body Part on Opposite sex:
Los Ojos. (translation: The Eyes.....I've always lived 2 love sexy, beautiful eyes.)
This or That
Pepsi or Coke:
Vanilla Coke
McDonalds or BurgerKing:
Ronald makes them classic, but damn they've gotten xxpensive. U gotta be rich to buy a combo meal now?
Hot tea or Ice tea:
Hot chamomille tea....with hunny.
Hot Chocolate or Coffee:
I'm a sugar freek, but...I love cinnamon flavor coffee..wait, I'll take a toffee nut frap instead.
Kiss or Hug:
kiss. I love kisses. They are the sweetest thing to me.
Rap or Punk:
Hip Hop ............recogniiize
Scary Movies or Funny Movies:
Funny movies can be watched over, and over, and over again....now who here would rather watch half baked any day of the week over .....um, a scary movie? See, told ya. *Red team, GO!*
Love or Money:
Did u not know that I'm like, part of those veryfew that believe in true love. It's like, last of the mohicans...nah, but for real, LOVE.
YOUR...
Bedtime:
soon. prolly now. I can sleep 12-14 hours daily...yummy.
Most Missed Memory:
dayum, it's a triple threat: Visiting my sister every 4 months while she was @ UCLA a decade ago, Hanging out with Korina, Ces and Nugg ( battling on paper with Ces and Nugg!)..and going to any concert while living back in Cali in the last 6 years ( starting with the backstage access to the Watcha '00 tour...all the way to the last Legends show that I saw back in Nov.)
Best phyiscal feature:
My eyes.
First Thought Waking Up:
Yummy, I love waking up here.
Fears:
3 pending speeding tickets all from this year....(um, I went 2 court 4 the first one back in March....and I swear I'll pay them all..soon.)
Heritage:
Amor a la MEXICANA
Longest relationship:
4 months........it took that long for me to snap out of it. yikes. *word 2 the beatnuts: "Cos if it aint gangzta..."..jk...it jus wasn't true love 4 me.
HAVE YOU...
Ever Drank:
Of course. Keep it classic: Corona or XX ambar...and then there's the other sweet dranks.
Ever Smoked:
I have
Pot:
I have.......
Ever been Drunk:
Ew, yessum I have.
Ever been beaten up:
nope.
Ever beaten someone up:
yessum.
Ever Shoplifted:
when I was 5.
Ever Skinny Dipped:
Not yet.
Ever Kissed someone of same sex:
Nosuum.
Been Dumped Lately:
Nosuum.
IN A GUY/GIRL
Favorite Eye Color:
doesn't matter,....it's the actual eyes I'm luvin.
Favorite Hair Color:
that doesn't matter either.......wait, um, keep it dark.
Short or Long:
super short, faded or my favourite of all time....shaved.
Height:
taller than me.
&..39;Style:'
let's put it this way, I can always tell if I really like a guy's style by the jeans they are wearing. The brand does not matter, it's the look-wear-fit of the jeans....If I'ver ever complimented u on your jeans (and I have told a few "I like your jeans"....) they get what I'm talking about....Stylish guys wear good jeans. If this is weird 2 u.....then u know what time it is.
Looks or Personality:
Personality all the way. It's the confidence of who u are, not what u look like.
Hot or Cute
a little bit of A. and little bit of B.
Drugs and Alcohol:
Next. Alcohol in moderation kids. haahaa.
RANDOMS
Number of Regrets in the Past:
for a person who doesn't regret anything.....cos I learn from everything...there is 1.
What country do you want to Visit:
There's 3: Jamaica, Monaco and Spain (my sister lives in Madrid...so I gotta make that happen b4 the year is over)
How do you want to Die:
Just like I live, happy with myself and my life.
Been to the Mall Lately:
Oh yeah, 60 miles away.....nah, the last good shopping I did was the H & M in San Francisco.
Do you like Thunderstorms:
Sure......when I'm indoors
Get along with your Parents:
My mom is the best, I can hang out with her all day every day (wait, I kinda have since I came back home )...my dad, yeah, we're kinda alike in the ways that don't let us get along...that well that often.
Health Freak:
Balanced. not freakish.
Do you think your Attractive:
Fo Sho. I get it from my momma.
Believe in Yourself:
All day, every day.
Want to go to College:
It's wut I do
Do you Smoke:
Nossum.
Do you Drink:
Every now and Then.
Shower Daily:
yessum. twice with this heat...and with all the swimming....:)
Been in Love:
It happened 1 day.....May 20th, 2004.
</form>
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