I've always wondered

About who actually reads this blog. I know my ex fiancé has read a few excerpts and my boyfriend knows of this blog.... But has never mentioned a thing about it. I'll say it's because I'm a passionate Scorpio, that had my boyfriends at any time had a blog... I would have been reading that every day. I just want to know everything about them. I have however managed to let go of the "digging" for things that aren't there. It's something that my friend Ricky Amaya once told me; " when someone says bye, that's all it means. Nothing more, nothing less". Which leads me to no longer divulging everything that I feel or am going through on a blog. I used to. Even if I had to write it in Spanish...(circa 2007) just to let it out there... I did. I also don't sketch anymore. I have a brand new sketch pad with unused and in sharpened pencils. Can I blame it on life being good? Well maybe. It's sweet. Life right now is something that I would not have pictured happening to me for the longest time. Stable, healthy and loving relationship with a man that has been nothing I've ever known before but has given me every single thing to love about him? We are night and day in tastes and interests. I'm the social butterfly that enjoys a night out and he's the homebody that dislikes beings around anyone besides me and his brothers or immediate family. How do we make that work? I still don't know. It just does. I owe it to myself to give this my all. So I do. What I'm lacking is in giving myself more of me. Like this. Like sketching. Like love.